Hi, Lizziebob.
The way it is set up now is probably how it is going to stay. But you could plead your case with our developers by clicking on the Suggestion link in the upper right hand corner of your account. Maybe they will come up with some creative solutions. Let them know what your needs and thoughts are about it.
You still can delete contacts if you do it before you send the invitation. But after it's sent, you can only deactivate and reactivate them.
Sorry for inconvenience, Lizziebob!
–Cheri