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Emotional Abuse Quiz

Emotional abuse, like all forms of abuse, is about power and control. How do you know if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship?
1. You just found out that your partner had lunch with his/her ex-girlfriend/boyfriend last week, despite the fact that you’ve expressed how uncomfortable that makes you. The last time you discussed it, he or she agreed not to have any further contact with this person, and agreed to tell you if this person contacted him or her. You express to your partner that you are upset. What does a non-abusive partner do?
3 is the correct answer. Emotional abusers tend to lack empathy, and therefore lack the ability to care about your feelings. The abuser will always tell you that either you're just too sensitive about things or your opinion is just wrong. The abuser never can do wrong; rather, you are the problem. For the abuser to admit he or she did something wrong would mean his is not perfect or in control, and that would be a devastating weakness that he could not handle.
Incorrect. 3 is the correct answer. Emotional abusers tend to lack empathy, and therefore lack the ability to care about your feelings. The abuser will always tell you that either you're just too sensitive about things or your opinion is just wrong. The abuser never can do wrong; rather, you are the problem. For the abuser to admit he or she did something wrong would mean his is not perfect or in control, and that would be a devastating weakness that he could not handle.
2. You are driving home from a meeting about 60 miles from home. You live in a big city, and traffic is horrendous, as there were many accidents on the freeways today. You call your partner to say you don’t know how long it’s going to take you to get home. What does a NON-abusive partner do?
1 is the correct answer. Emotional abusers insist on always doing things his or her way. They always need to be right and know more than you do. This is one of the ways they try to make themselves feel better about themselves. If the abuser can be smarter, wiser, and always right, then he or she never needs to feel vulnerable or frustrated. Furthermore, abusers have difficulty handling things not always going just as planned, so he or she might fly off the handle about you getting home late. Again, this is simply about not being in control of the situation.
1 is the correct answer. Emotional abusers insist on always doing things his or her way. They always need to be right and know more than you do. This is one of the ways they try to make themselves feel better about themselves. If the abuser can be smarter, wiser, and always right, then he or she never needs to feel vulnerable or frustrated. Furthermore, abusers have difficulty handling things not always going just as planned, so he or she might fly off the handle about you getting home late. Again, this is simply about not being in control of the situation.
3. The two of you are out at a party and meet some new people that you're talking to. You're conversing with another couple, and you are personally having a lot of fun. What is a partner who is not emotionally abusive doing?
3 is the correct answer.

Emotional abusers feel a need to control and/or criticize everything you say and do. They can easily demean you and question why you would say this or that, as a way of staying in control of the conversation, just like he or she needs to always be in control of everything. Abusers are even good at getting you to doubt your own ability to do or say things without his or her input.
3 is the correct answer.

Emotional abusers feel a need to control and/or criticize everything you say and do. They can easily demean you and question why you would say this or that, as a way of staying in control of the conversation, just like he or she needs to always be in control of everything. Abusers are even good at getting you to doubt your own ability to do or say things without his or her input.
4. You’ve both had a long day, and everyone is exhausted. There is so much that still needs to be done. You get in a fight about him or her helping more with all the household duties. What does your partner do?
2 is the correct answer.

Emotional abusers love to withhold of themselves. Since they can never be wrong or make a mistake, clearly they can’t listen to you complain about them. Whether it’s walking away, leaving you on your own, leaving an outing or event, ignoring you, refusing to talk or show any affection towards you, all are forms of withholding and avoidance. But what they're really trying to avoid isn't you or the issue; rather, they're trying to avoid the bad feelings about him or herself that might surface if he or she stayed. Feelings must be avoided at all times because the abuser cannot handle feeling them.
2 is the correct answer.

Emotional abusers love to withhold of themselves. Since they can never be wrong or make a mistake, clearly they can’t listen to you complain about them. Whether it’s walking away, leaving you on your own, leaving an outing or event, ignoring you, refusing to talk or show any affection towards you, all are forms of withholding and avoidance. But what they're really trying to avoid isn't you or the issue; rather, they're trying to avoid the bad feelings about him or herself that might surface if he or she stayed. Feelings must be avoided at all times because the abuser cannot handle feeling them.
5. You went out with your girlfriends last night for a girls only night out. You had a really great time. You got home late after having a blast. Little did you know that your partner was angry that you stayed out late and had fun without him, and he couldn’t sleep. What happens next with a partner who is not abusive?
3 is the correct answer.

Emotional abusers love to blame their partners for their own problems, issues and level of happiness. If you do everything he or she wants, then all is good and the abuser is happy. The minute things aren’t exactly as the abuser wants them to be, and he has an emotional response to it, it is clearly your fault in his or her eyes. To take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings would mean that the abuser has to admit he or she is not perfect, is flawed just like the rest of us, and cannot control everything. This is not something the emotional abuser is capable of doing.
3 is the correct answer.

Emotional abusers love to blame their partners for their own problems, issues and level of happiness. If you do everything he or she wants, then all is good and the abuser is happy. The minute things aren’t exactly as the abuser wants them to be, and he has an emotional response to it, it is clearly your fault in his or her eyes. To take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings would mean that the abuser has to admit he or she is not perfect, is flawed just like the rest of us, and cannot control everything. This is not something the emotional abuser is capable of doing.