The Dirty Little Secrets Survey

1. Have you ever lied about your age?

• Um, duh. Who doesn't?
• Nope. Never.

2. Do you talk to yourself in the car?

• No way.
• Occasionally--When no one's looking, of course.
• All day, everyday.

3. How long have you gone without a shower?

• I shower before I shower--can't go without.
• 1 day.
• 2 days.
• 3 days.
• A week.

4. Say you dropped a piece of food on the kitchen floor...

• Five-second rule, no biggie!
• Throw that out, no matter what.
• Forget the five-second rule. I say 10.

5. Have you ever forgotten to wear underwear?

• Forgotten? Pssh, commando for life.
• I always wear underwear--clean pairs at that.
• Hey, it was a weird morning.

6. Admit it. Do you have a favorite child? (If you are not a parent, please skip this question.)

• No
• Yes

7. Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom?

• Not always, no.
• Yes. Those who don't are nasty.

8. Would you ever drink or party with your teens? (If you are not a parent, skip this question.)

• Absolutely not.
• One glass of wine in the right setting.
• Sure. Why not? Better with me than a bunch of strangers.

9. Would you ever get cosmetic surgery?

• No way.
• I already have.
• Absolutely.

10. Would you rather have a hot, well-endowed man or $30,000 in cold, hard cash.

• That's a lot of shoes, I'll take take the cash.
• Size matters and I'm not putting a price on that. Give me the dude.

11. Ever woken up next to a stranger?

• Yes
• No

12. Have you ever considered (even for a second) stripping for extra cash?

• Yes. I have done it or once seriously considered it.
• The thought has crossed my mind, but I'd never go through with it.
• Heck no.

13. Do you always pick up after your dog? (If you do not own a pet, please skip to the next question.)

• Yes. Always.
• If I'm in a rush and no one's around... no.
• I never do. Hey, it's fertilizing the ground, so everybody wins.

14. Have you ever eaten someone else's food out of the office fridge?

• I was hungry and that stuff looked good.
• No. That's rude.

15. Have you ever used your period as an excuse to get out of something?

• Yep, works every time.
• Nope.

16. Do you watch porn with your significant other?

• Yes
• No

17. Do you watch porn by yourself?

• Nope
• When the mood strikes...

18. Have you ever returned clothes after wearing them?

• Of course, it's like borrowing. Why not?
• I don't do that.

19. Do you ever wish something bad would happen to your in-laws?

• Yes
• No way. I love them.

20. Do you still pee in the pool?

• No
• When I can get away with it!

21. Have you ever hit someone's car then driven away...?

• No, I would always at least leave a note.
• Yes

22. Do you ever post pictures on your social media, just to make your ex jealous?

• I have better things to do with my life.
• Darn right.

23. Do you ever delete your browser history on your computer so that your significant other can't see your past searches?

• Yes.
• No. I have nothing to hide.

24. Have you ever hooked up with a coworker?

• No
• Does it count if we hooked up after working in the same office?
• Yes

25. Have you experimented with recreational drugs beyond tobacco, alcohol and marijuana?

• Yes
• No
• I've never even tried those three!

26. Do you look at your partner's emails/texts?

• I have before.
• Nope, that's his business.
• Every chance I get.

27. Ever tried to steal a friend's significant other?

• Yes... guilty.
• No. I wouldn't do that!

28. Have you ever blind copied the boss on an email to get a coworker in trouble?

• Yes
• No

29. Have you ever had a crush on someone (celebrity or not) who is underage?

• OMG, who hasn't?! Hot is hot.
• No. Ew!

30. Have you ever laughed so hard you peed?

• If I'm honest, this happens ALL the time.
• Once or twice, sure.
• No.

31. Do you often think about someone else during sex?

• No, I'm pretty focused on my man.
• Yep, all the time.

32. Studies show a small amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy. Would you do it?

• Yes
• No

33. OK, you just realized the clerk charged you less than you actually owed. Do you go back and tell her?

• Yes.
• No.

34. Have you ever hooked up with someone just for revenge?

• You betcha.
• No

35. Be honest. How often do you wash your sheets?

• Once per week or more
• Once every few weeks
• Sometimes I go for months...
• Never

36. Have you ever forgone shaving your arms, legs, and/or girly bits just because you were not in a relationship

• Yes. If no one's around to see it, I'll just let the briar patch grow.
• No, I always shave.

37. Do you lie to your doctor about how much you drink or smoke?

• Yes
• No

38. Have you ever driven drunk?

• No
• Yes

41. Have you ever passed gas on an airplane?

• Yes
• No

42. Have you ever lied to a significant other about how much you spend?

• Yes
• No

43. Do you snoop your ex's Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.?

• Yes.
• No.

44. What is your age?

• 20-24
• 25-29
• 30-34
• 35-39
• 40-44
• 45-49
• 50+

45. What is your average yearly income?

• Under $15,000
• $15,000-$30,000
• $30,000-$45,000
• $45,000-$60,000
• $60,000-$80,000
• $80,000-$100,000
• $100,000+
• $200,000+

46. Did you graduate from college?

• Yes
• No

47. What's your relationship status?

• Married
• Single
• Dating

48. How many children do you have?

• None
• One
• Two
• Three
• Four
• Five or more

49. What is your political affiliation?

• Democrat
• Republican
• Moderate