Turn-on Initiation Preference

Fill out this short survey and receive your Sexual Initiation Style immediately!

This survey is anonymous and confidential (see our privacy statement) and should take approximately 8-12 minutes to complete. The questionnaire has approximately 29 questions that cover your sexual initiation preferences and interests. Feel free to check it out, knowing that at any point you can discontinue without consequence. If you have any questions about it or comments about it please contact Dr. Zebroff at info@artofconnection.org.

You must be 18 to participate. By completing the survey you are agreeing to participate in furthering our understanding of human sexuality.

* This test works best on a desktop, laptop or tablet.

1. I define as:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

2. My sexual orientation is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

3. The type of genitals I own is: *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

5. My relationship status is: *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

I have been in my relationship for:

I would rate the general satisfaction of my relationship as:

6. Overall, how satisfactory or unsatisfactory is your present sex life?

Overall, how satisfactory or unsatisfactory do you think your lover would rate your present sex life?

Who initiates sex in your relationship?

The way(s) my partner currently initiates sex is:

7. I get the most turned-on when:

8. Think back to the last time your lover initiated sex with you. How did you respond to their advances?

What was it like for you when they initiated sex that way? (Describe any thoughts, feelings or sensations you had at that time)

9. Think back to the last time you initiated sex with a lover. How did your lover respond to your advances?

What was it like for you when they responded that way? (Describe any thoughts, feelings or sensations) you had at that time)

How frequently does your lover respond with the following responses to your sexual advances?

Space Cell	Almost never or never	Rarely	About 1/2 time	Frequently	Almost always or always
they respond enthusiastically	they respond enthusiastically: Almost never or never	they respond enthusiastically: Rarely	they respond enthusiastically: About 1/2 time	they respond enthusiastically: Frequently	they respond enthusiastically: Almost always or always
they go along with my request in a neutral way	they go along with my request in a neutral way: Almost never or never	they go along with my request in a neutral way: Rarely	they go along with my request in a neutral way: About 1/2 time	they go along with my request in a neutral way: Frequently	they go along with my request in a neutral way: Almost always or always
they make excuses for why they can't have sex	they make excuses for why they can't have sex: Almost never or never	they make excuses for why they can't have sex: Rarely	they make excuses for why they can't have sex: About 1/2 time	they make excuses for why they can't have sex: Frequently	they make excuses for why they can't have sex: Almost always or always
they get angry, defensive or pick a fight	they get angry, defensive or pick a fight: Almost never or never	they get angry, defensive or pick a fight: Rarely	they get angry, defensive or pick a fight: About 1/2 time	they get angry, defensive or pick a fight: Frequently	they get angry, defensive or pick a fight: Almost always or always
they don't respond at all	they don't respond at all: Almost never or never	they don't respond at all: Rarely	they don't respond at all: About 1/2 time	they don't respond at all: Frequently	they don't respond at all: Almost always or always
Enter another option	Other: Almost never or never	Other: Rarely	Other: About 1/2 time	Other: Frequently	Other: Almost always or always

10. How would you prefer a lover approach you for sex? I get most turned-on if my lover: *This question is required.Think about how you start getting aroused --- transitioning from your day-to-day reality toward your erotic-reality. How would you like your partner to approach you. If you do not have a partner, imagine the best scenario for you.

Space Cell	Not sexy	A little sexy	Somewhat sexy	Very sexy	Extremely sexy
'Takes charge' of the situation	'Takes charge' of the situation: Not sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: A little sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Somewhat sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Very sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Extremely sexy
Surprises me or approaches me from behind	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Not sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: A little sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Somewhat sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Very sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Extremely sexy
Pushes me against a wall or bed	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Not sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: A little sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Somewhat sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Very sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Extremely sexy
Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything)	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Not sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): A little sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Somewhat sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Very sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Extremely sexy
Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Not sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: A little sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Somewhat sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Very sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Extremely sexy
Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts)	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Not sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): A little sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Somewhat sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Very sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Extremely sexy
Is rough or forceful (in play)	Is rough or forceful (in play): Not sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): A little sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Somewhat sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Very sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Extremely sexy
Kisses or caresses my neck	Kisses or caresses my neck: Not sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: A little sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Somewhat sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Very sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Extremely sexy
Is urgent or passionate	Is urgent or passionate: Not sexy	Is urgent or passionate: A little sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Somewhat sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Very sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Extremely sexy
Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”)	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Not sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): A little sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Somewhat sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Very sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Extremely sexy
Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Not sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: A little sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Somewhat sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Very sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Extremely sexy
Arranges a romantic dinner/event	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Not sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: A little sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Somewhat sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Very sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Extremely sexy
Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Not sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: A little sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Somewhat sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Very sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Extremely sexy
Addresses other concerns/worries I might have	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Not sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: A little sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Somewhat sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Very sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Extremely sexy
Sends me or shows me sexy pics	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Not sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: A little sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Somewhat sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Very sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Extremely sexy
Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Not sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: A little sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Somewhat sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Very sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Extremely sexy
Makes me laugh or laughs easily	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Not sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: A little sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Somewhat sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Very sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Extremely sexy
Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge"	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Not sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": A little sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Somewhat sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Very sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Extremely sexy
Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Not sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: A little sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Somewhat sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Very sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Extremely sexy
Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Not sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: A little sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Somewhat sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Very sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Extremely sexy
I would like to be the one to initiate sex	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Not sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: A little sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Somewhat sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Very sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Extremely sexy

11. Think back to a time when sex initiation worked very well. Describe what about it made it so: Choose a time that worked well for the two of you. It could have been either of you or your partner who initiated.

12. When you have sexual intercourse with your current (or most recent) lover, how often do you reach orgasm (climax)?(Penis-Vagina intercourse: the type of intercourse that occurs while the man’s penis is in the woman’s vagina)

13. When you have sexual intercourse with your current (or most recent) lover, how often does your lover reach orgasm (climax)?(Penis-vagina intercourse: the type of intercourse that occurs while the man’s penis is in the woman’s vagina)

14. Overall, which is your most reliable (frequent) way for you to have an orgasm with a lover?This would include any sexual activity with your lover in which you had an orgasm while your lover was present. If you are not currently in a relationship at the moment, think of your most recent or longest term lover.

Space Cell	Never	Rarely	about 1/2 the time	Frequently	Always
through manual stimulation (my own hand)	through manual stimulation (my own hand): Never	through manual stimulation (my own hand): Rarely	through manual stimulation (my own hand): about 1/2 the time	through manual stimulation (my own hand): Frequently	through manual stimulation (my own hand): Always
through manual stimulation (from a lover)	through manual stimulation (from a lover): Never	through manual stimulation (from a lover): Rarely	through manual stimulation (from a lover): about 1/2 the time	through manual stimulation (from a lover): Frequently	through manual stimulation (from a lover): Always
through oral stimulation (from a lover)	through oral stimulation (from a lover): Never	through oral stimulation (from a lover): Rarely	through oral stimulation (from a lover): about 1/2 the time	through oral stimulation (from a lover): Frequently	through oral stimulation (from a lover): Always
through a sex toy, like a vibrator	through a sex toy, like a vibrator: Never	through a sex toy, like a vibrator: Rarely	through a sex toy, like a vibrator: about 1/2 the time	through a sex toy, like a vibrator: Frequently	through a sex toy, like a vibrator: Always
through intercourse (penis-vagina) alone, without added stimulation	through intercourse (penis-vagina) alone, without added stimulation: Never	through intercourse (penis-vagina) alone, without added stimulation: Rarely	through intercourse (penis-vagina) alone, without added stimulation: about 1/2 the time	through intercourse (penis-vagina) alone, without added stimulation: Frequently	through intercourse (penis-vagina) alone, without added stimulation: Always
through intercourse (penis-vagina) at the same time as other stimulation (clitoris or testicles).	through intercourse (penis-vagina) at the same time as other stimulation (clitoris or testicles).: Never	through intercourse (penis-vagina) at the same time as other stimulation (clitoris or testicles).: Rarely	through intercourse (penis-vagina) at the same time as other stimulation (clitoris or testicles).: about 1/2 the time	through intercourse (penis-vagina) at the same time as other stimulation (clitoris or testicles).: Frequently	through intercourse (penis-vagina) at the same time as other stimulation (clitoris or testicles).: Always
through anal stimulation (oral, manual, toy or intercourse)	through anal stimulation (oral, manual, toy or intercourse): Never	through anal stimulation (oral, manual, toy or intercourse): Rarely	through anal stimulation (oral, manual, toy or intercourse): about 1/2 the time	through anal stimulation (oral, manual, toy or intercourse): Frequently	through anal stimulation (oral, manual, toy or intercourse): Always
Enter another option	Other: Never	Other: Rarely	Other: about 1/2 the time	Other: Frequently	Other: Always

15. Think back to a time when you were having difficulty reaching orgasm in the presence of a lover. What was your most common response?

Space Cell	Never or almost never	Rarely	Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	Frequently	Always or almost always
I asked or gestured for my lover to continue to stimulate me (orally or manually)	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue to stimulate me (orally or manually): Never or almost never	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue to stimulate me (orally or manually): Rarely	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue to stimulate me (orally or manually): Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue to stimulate me (orally or manually): Frequently	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue to stimulate me (orally or manually): Always or almost always
I asked or gestured for my lover to continue intercourse (or have intercourse again)	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue intercourse (or have intercourse again): Never or almost never	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue intercourse (or have intercourse again): Rarely	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue intercourse (or have intercourse again): Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue intercourse (or have intercourse again): Frequently	I asked or gestured for my lover to continue intercourse (or have intercourse again): Always or almost always
I indicated I wanted to stimulate myself	I indicated I wanted to stimulate myself: Never or almost never	I indicated I wanted to stimulate myself: Rarely	I indicated I wanted to stimulate myself: Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	I indicated I wanted to stimulate myself: Frequently	I indicated I wanted to stimulate myself: Always or almost always
I used a vibrator or other toy	I used a vibrator or other toy: Never or almost never	I used a vibrator or other toy: Rarely	I used a vibrator or other toy: Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	I used a vibrator or other toy: Frequently	I used a vibrator or other toy: Always or almost always
I stopped sexual activity	I stopped sexual activity: Never or almost never	I stopped sexual activity: Rarely	I stopped sexual activity: Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	I stopped sexual activity: Frequently	I stopped sexual activity: Always or almost always
I faked an orgasm	I faked an orgasm: Never or almost never	I faked an orgasm: Rarely	I faked an orgasm: Sometimes (about 1/2 of the time)	I faked an orgasm: Frequently	I faked an orgasm: Always or almost always

Think of the last few times you had sexual intercourse (penis-vagina), which of the following best describes the level of intensity of sensation you felt in your vagina (without clitoral stimulation) ?(While intensity of sensation will vary throughout intercourse, please choose one of the following that represents your overall experience, which was the predominant level of intensity you felt)

Think of the last few times you had sexual intercourse (penis-vagina), which of the following best describes the level of intensity of sensation you felt from your penis?(While intensity of sensation will vary throughout intercourse, please choose one of the following that best represents your overall experience, which was the predominant level of intensity you felt)

16. What level of intensity of sensation do you believe a woman feels in her vagina only (without direct clitoral stimulation) compared to what a man feels in his penis during intercourse (penis-vagina)? *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

17. Do you think there is a difference between the level of sensation a man feels on his penis compared to what a woman feels in her vagina duringng sexual intercourse? If so, what do you think the difference is? Based on your own experience of what you have heard or seen, what do you imagine the difference in intensity of feeling is between a penis compared with a vagina during intercourse with a partner.

Do you consider the size of your own penis OR that of your partner’s to be...

Are you satisﬁed with the size of your own penis OR that of your partner’s?

18. On average, how often have you watched/read sexually explicit materials during the last 12 months?

19. The things that turn me on the most to get sex started with my current lover are:

20. The things that turn me on to get sex started with previous lover(s) are:

21. The things that turn me on to get sex started in isolation (during CoVid) are:

22. How has the frequency of sexual initiation changed in the time of social isolation (CoVid-19): (initiated by either of you or your lover)

23. How is sexual initiation different (or not different) for you during social isolation? (compared with non-social isolation times)